I promised so here it is...

Ok so I promised a blog last night on my facebook post. Here it is.

So a few of my friends sat me down last night and had a chat, let's call it an "intervention", and although I don't think they were 100% convincing, they did bring about a few good points. There are some things I feel I owe to you to clarify about my few previous blogs.

1 - I called the girl I was considering dating immature. In fact she is probably one of the more mature girls I know for her age. I should have added that I meant to only call her immature as far as dating goes. I've dated quite a bit more than she has and although that doesn't necessarily mean that one is more mature in that area (although I'd argue that it is in this case), it probably would have been more appropriate to use the word "experienced".

2 - I was told that L.A. has changed me. My friends don't like that. I do. Perhaps it's my more cynical outlook on life, perhaps it's the fact that I'm a bigger ass hole, perhaps It's the simple fact that I've grown (in their eyes not for the better) into what I've set my mind to become (to do what I want to do, you have to be an ass hole, full of yourself... etc.). Whatever the case, I am truly not sorry. I can't be. I won't be. If the way I am is offensive to you then that's your problem and not mine.

3 - One of my friends rose an interesting question. She asked me if I stand by everything I've said. My answer was that I stand by it 100%. I may not believe it anymore, I may have seen the "error of my ways". The Grouch (musician... not the muppet) puts it best. He says the "The older I get, the dumber that I was". I stand by everything I said in the moment, however fueled by rage it may have been. It still is something I meant at the time.

4 - I've been told that I don't treat the girls I'm dating very well. (Previous girlfriends... please chime in here.) I honestly don't see where that comes from. I try to treat all women with the respect they deserve. In the next few weeks I'm going to have to ask for clarification on this. The only clarification I've received so far is the fact that I ONCE cheated (sort-of) on a girl. Mind you I was a freshman in high school. That was 8 years ago and to this very damn day, I regret it. The people I've talked to also cited my previous relationship. Here's a little back-story: I was dating a girl for well over a year and a half. Up until this point, she had told me that she would love to live in Cali since I knew I needed to after graduation. Last summer she lived with me and she started having second thoughts. Things went down hill fast after that and I was trying to hold together our relationship. I knew I loved her. I even had the ring picked out and most of the money to buy it. I wanted nothing more than to have her out in cali. Towards the end it got really rough and I knew I had to end it. She knew it too. It was just a bad situation. Anyway from my dealings with her, my friends assess that I was stringing her along for God knows what. I'm not sexual active so it couldn't have been for that. I was being emotionally wrecked and since I'm not a masochist it couldn't have been the pain. In all honesty I was hoping she would still want to be with me. Nothing more. If that's treating a woman wrong then I'm damn well happy about it. I hope to get more clarification on this point in the next few weeks. Seriously though, any of my exes who read this (I still am on good speaking terms with all of them... I must not treat them too terribly...) please chime in.

It was nice to clear some things up with the people of Escondido. I doubt the friendships that were strained will ever get back to where they were before I left of L.A., but isn't that how life works? They say there is a 7 year turnover on friendships. I know the people here will never be completely gone from my life. I will always consider them friends, if not close friends.


Tomorrow (hopefully) I'm meeting with the girl I mentioned in earlier blogs. I want to clear things up with her. This whole issue is getting to be stupid and I don't want it to destroy whatever sort of friendship we can salvage. I've contacted her and she asked to push it back a day. I'm hoping she decides to meet with me. The ball is in her court now. I've done what I can.



Ok enough of Mr. Nice Guy. Back to being an ass hole.


"I've got birds in my ears, and a devil on my shoulder" - Cute Is What We Aim For